Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
