Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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