Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
