So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
