hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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