hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
