Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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