Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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