I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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