Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
