I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
mondays should just be called national damage control day
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
