I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
