DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
