Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
