We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Randomize
