i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
