I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
