my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
