No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And then my night got REAL pukey
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
