when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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