At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I'm getting married
To pizza
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
