i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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