drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize