He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize