I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
