ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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