Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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