Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
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