Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You may now shotgun with the bride
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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