Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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