so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
