Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
