you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
