do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
