Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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