Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
