8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
