i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Randomize
