We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
