I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
