Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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