So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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