She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
