remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
