Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
