My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He uses pillows to masturbate.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
