It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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