Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
