She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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