Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
