We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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