You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
