I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
