i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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