Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I am available for nakedness
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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