tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
