My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
