I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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