Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
