you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
