You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
