That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
