Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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