He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
