honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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