Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize