dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I miss vodka workout Fridays
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My vagina just clenched in fear
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
