the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
